Saturday, February 20, 2010

Struggling

Here it is, nearly midnight, and I'm just finishing my preparations for Sharing Time tomorrow. I've been playing with ideas all week as to what I really wanted to do... I've made several phone calls to my sisters to get their ideas as well. And this is my conclusion: I'm struggling. Sure, I've got it all prepared, both Junior and Senior Primary; I have a plan of action for both. So, what's my problem?? I can talk in front of anyone. I can teach the youth in a heartbeat. I can prepare a Relief Society lesson in fifteen minutes with no problem. I am with kids all day, for crying out loud- this should be a piece of cake. It's taken nearly twenty minutes of me sitting here at the computer to figure out what my real problem seems to be... and here it is: I'm afraid I won't get through to them. When I'm teaching a class or giving a talk, I can almost guarantee that someone is listening and will be affected by what I have to say. These kids are a different story. I've been in Primary enough over the years to know how many of them actually pay attention to Sharing Time. I so desperately want them to know that what I am talking about is so important. And I'm terrified that I will fail. I pray for those little ones in our ward every day. It's amazing how much love you can feel for children you hardly know. I suppose it goes with the calling. I know it's too soon to know them all, but I hope over time I will know them and they will know me. I hope they will see me and smile because they know that I love them and that I want what's best for them. Maybe once they know me, they will be more inclined to listen to me... if I'm lucky. Until then, I'll have to pray that at least one of them is listening to me and feels that still small voice inside telling them that what I am teaching is true. And even if I only get one, it will still be worth it.

6 comments:

Heather said...

I promise you they are listening. Every time I sub in primary I ask my kids what they learned. I like it because I actually was there and know what was taught. I'm shocked when they can tell me what was said. Hang in there. They can feel your love. And the more you show them love, the more inclined they will be to listen to you. You are a wonderful teacher and I KNOW you will be great. Good luck!!!

Judie and George said...

They will feel your sincerity and the Spirit will teach them.

Melissa said...

This is the sweetest blog post. I'm sure they know--kids always know when adults are truly interested in them.

emily :) said...

How did it go? Knowing you...I'm sure it turned out great...and although the children never look like they are listening or paying attention, I can tell you that my children are able to tell me what was taught in church each week :) When the spirit is there, then teaching and learning takes place :)

Jordan and Melissa Garn said...

You were so meant for this calling! I know you don't hinks so, but you were.

Coordination Queen said...

You are fabulous! How did sharing time go?